


The Greatest Bastard

by norvegianwood



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: post season one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 10:49:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4177038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/norvegianwood/pseuds/norvegianwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tess’s stream of consciousness. Sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Greatest Bastard

**Author's Note:**

> _"Well we were good, when we were good_   
>  _When we were not misunderstood_   
>  _You helped me love, you helped me live_   
>  _You helped me learn how to forgive_   
>  _Didn't you?_   
>  _I wish that I could say the same_   
>  _But when you left, you left the blame_   
>  _Didn't you?"_
> 
> _\- Damien Rice, The Greatest Bastard_

She’s the bitch; he’s the martyr.  
She got their house and their daughter; he got a broken heart.  
She’s guilty, but her reputation is safe.  
He’s innocent, but he’s the “Worst Cop in Britain.”  
She got the good side of the bargain, so she has to smile and pretend.  
Pretend she doesn’t despise herself.  
Pretend she doesn’t hate and love him at the same time with a fierceness that keeps her awake at night.  
Pretend she doesn’t miss him so much.

During the day, she’s gotten quite good at pretending, to be fair.  
Their daughter keeps her going.  
She’s growing up so fast though.  
Their bright and wild little girl is turning into a beautiful and pensive young woman.  
Sometimes she wonders how much Daisy really knows.  
She rarely asks about her father, and this worries her, becaus she and Alec used to be so close.  
She did her best with the mandatory cover-up story: “Both your mum and dad love you bunches, but they can no longer live together.”  
_‘Cause mummy shagged another man, allowing a maniac who killed two girls about your age to get away with it.’_  
This is the story that keeps her awake at night, making her wonder again and again: What if it was Daisy? What if he does it again? What if Alec dies because she literally broke his heart?  
She hates him for leaving her with no means of atonement.

Some nights, when she is too tired for tears, she allows herself to remember their old life.  
They were so young when they met.  
Yes, Daisy wasn’t planned, but she was a wonderful, if slightly scary, surprise.  
They had each other, their tiny apartment, and a job they loved.  
Money was tight, but they didn’t need much.  
On sunny days, they had lunch outside the police station, and she had fun counting his freckles.  
He pretended to be annoyed, but he couldn’t conceal that half smirk of his.  
He had a dark humour she adored, was a bit shy, and had a kind, warm nature that begged to be discovered.  
He just needed to know he was loved and accepted the way he was, and he was ready to love back, unconditionally, in return.

She had betrayed him in the worst possible moment, when he was so vulnerable because of that damned case, and she knows there will be no second chances for her.  
But she had been vulnerable too, scared and lonely with him being so distant and withdrawn.  
She also knows he’s very sick; all it took for her to know was a brief glimpse of him on the television.  
She just hopes there is someone to hold his hand through this new case he’s facing.

Someone better than her.


End file.
